All the Bits We Don't See
by Roy The Starfish
Summary: Following the lives of Noel and Julian, including all the bits we never got to see!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N** Hello, this is the first fic I've published, and it is indeed a real person fic. If you're not interested, leave now, the characters in this story will be Noel and Julian! Thank you for reading and I would love some feedback! Rated for slight language, and basically what I plan to write in further chapters.

~ Roy the Starfish

**disclaimer** I DO NOT own the Mighty Boosh.

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><p><strong>Chapter 1<strong>

'Nige, are you comin' or not, we're gonna be late for the show at this rate!'

'Keep ya wig on mate, what does it matter if we're a couple of minutes late?'

Noel sighed, 'I've told you before! The acts'll take the piss out of us if we walk in late, don't you know anything?'

'Yeh, God Nige!' Dave mocked.

'Right I'm coming!'

'Finally.' Noel hurried out the door. Just last month Noel had laid in bed wondering what he wanted to do after university, he's clearly talented at art but was he really cut out to make it his career? If he did, would he earn enough money to buy all his ridiculous clothes and get his hair restyled every month? He approached Dexter, his art teacher, and asked him whether he thought he should pursue a career in art. Dexter had told him that he was very skilled at art, but better at making the class laugh, he had suggested that he should try doing some comedy gigs. Noel loved the idea, he loved being the centre of attention but he'd never thought properly about making a living out of prancing around on stage.

He had done as many gigs as he could in the last month, not paid ones, just to test how good he was. He'd seemed to get a generally good reaction. People loved his arty slant on comedy! He'd also tried his hardest to get tickets to every other comedian putting on a show in his area. Tonight was an evening he was really looking forward to. There were quite a few acts on the bill, but he didn't recognise any of the names.

The three art students rushed into the building, it turned out they were early after all. Noel just didn't want to repeat what had happened that one time he walked in late. 'I did say we weren't going to be late didn't I?'

'Oh shut up Nige, its better than being late isn't it!' They chose a table near the front with Noel sitting closest to the stage. The hall filled up quickly. There was a table of posh cocks next to them, but their table and the seats behind them filled up with bunches of eager-for-a-laugh students. The lights went down and the show began. Noel thought the compere was decidedly dull. So when he eventually read out the name of the first act Noel sat up immediately. They sat through the first three acts bored until they were given a short interval. 'Did you like any of them Dave?'

'Nah, not really, you're stacks better than all of them!'

'Why don't we leave, there's only two more acts now and I doubt it's going to get much better.'

'No way am I leaving! They usually get better as they go along. You can go if you want but Dave and I are staying.' The lights went down and the compere slugged back on stage.

'Guess I'm too late now.' Nige checked his watch, sighed and lolled his head back. The compere held up his mike and announced the next performer.

'And next up for you tonight we have, a great comedian, Mr Julian Barratt!' Noel sat up again and clapped, praying whoever this was he was going to be better than all the other crap he'd seen so far.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N **here we have Chapter 2. I hope I didn't make Noel's lot sound too much like thirteen year old girls, I tried not to... Reviews would be genius.

~ Roy the Starfish

**Disclaimer** I DO NOT own the Boosh!

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><p><strong>Chapter 2<strong>

Julian completed his set looking quite drained. That was _not_ a good gig. He walked inside the tiny 'dressing room,' slumped back into a plastic chair, dramatically pushed his hair from his forehead and sighed… 'Hey, man. I thought you were funny!' One of the other comics tried encouragingly. 'So did that kid at the front!'

'Thanks, but it would seem you're the only ones who do.'

'Lighten up! Everyone has bad nights, yeh?'

'Hm.'

'Come grab a beer, I'm getting one.'

'Noel, you didn't seriously think that guy was any good did you?'

'You were just laughing, like, because you felt sorry for him, yeh?'

'No! That guy was genius! He was really funny; I can't believe you two weren't laughing!'

'You were the only one in the room laughing, I think! You've got to be joking.' Noel genuinely had no idea why nobody else found him funny. He was laughing heartily the whole way through.

'No! I'm not joking! He was freakin' hilarious!' Nige leant over and whispered something to Dave. Noel waited patiently until he drew back, keeping a questioning look on his face. Then Dave burst out into laughter. 'What?' Dave held back his laughter long enough to explain.

'Nige reckons you fancy him!' They both began their laughter once more.

'Oh yes! Of course! Very funny.'

'Why don't you go talk to him?' Nige grinned.

'I think I will thank you very much.' With that Noel left the table and spotted Julian by the bar. He hesitated for a second. What was he going to say to him? Just tell him he was good. He could tell him about his stand up, their styles _were_ more than a little similar. His mates noticed him stood like a lemon and shouted to him to hurry up. As he approached the northerner he felt a slight blush creep across his cheeks. When thinking about it, this was a lot like a really bad attempt of a chat up. He took the stool next to the larger man and waited for him to turn around.

'Hey! I thought you were really good!'

'Er… Thanks. I guess you were the only one.'

'Yeh, well the rest of them all need to get their heads screwed on right, I was laughing all the way through!'

'I know… It would've been great to have about fifty of you, just dotted around.' Noel couldn't help but laugh at that. A small smile pulled at the other man's lips when the kid laughed at his, frankly, unfunny comment.

'Yeh, but then you'd have us all bombarding you trying to tell you how funny you were, you'd barely be able to finish your drink!'

'I'm sure I could've lived with it!'

'You know, I do stuff a bit like you, like the _crazier _funny stuff.'

'Yeh?'

'Oh yes. I've only done a few gigs, but I'm pretty good!'

'I'm sure. Well, it was nice to meet you but I need to rush off, catch the last train.'

'Oh, okay. Are you doing any more gigs soon?'

'I think I'm doing the enterprise on Tuesday.'

'Genius! See you there then!'

'Wonderful my first stalker.' Julian caught the smallest hint of something in Noel's eye, so he softened his comment with a warm smile before waving and leaving the centre.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N** Chapter 3! Woohoo! Not too sure if there's anyone reading this, so if you are, please have faith, I have a lot I plan to write. I should add, I've not been particularly accurate with timings, there were probably quite a lot of gigs they saw each other at before the Enterprise but I thought I'd skip to the juicy stuff!

~Roy the Starfish

**disclaimer** I DO NOT own the Mighty Boosh.

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><p><strong>Chapter 3<strong>

Noel was left alone at the bar when he heard sniggering behind him. He turned round sharply and looked at his mates; 'what?'

He sat on the worn out sofa in their flat, it was 2am and Nige and Dave had both gone to sleep. He pinched the bridge of his nose and took a sip of water, he couldn't sleep. He tried painting in the hope it would tire him out but he found himself lacking in imagination and inspiration: unlike him. He decided he _would_ figure out the source of his disability to simply drift off into dreamland as he would any other night. He sat sinking further into the sofa tossing away ideas in his head until he arrived at a more hopeful one. He pictured the face of the comic he'd seen last night, what was he called? Julian! Julian Barratt. Nice name. He found that he felt ever so slightly more relaxed. He would love to be like him one day, headlining gigs, getting paid, and being _that _funny. What if he joined a sketch group, that'd be fun! Or he could be in a double act. That'd be good, not as much pressure, and you'd always have each other... Barratt and Fielding, Fielding and Barratt? Sounds a bit dull, like a solicitors, hm. If he was in a double act they'd be called something pure genius! He fell into sleep hoping he'd dream up the perfect name for his double act.

Tuesday came ever so slowly. Noel couldn't wait for his chance to talk to Julian again. He'd tell him all about his double act idea, see if he was up for it! The day was finally here, but there was no way he was bringing Nige or Dave along this time. So he slipped out of the flat and onto the bus a couple of stops until he was within walking distance of the Enterprise. He practically skipped off the bus and up to the doors of the venue. He tugged open the door and a bloke stood smoking at the entrance piped up sarcastically, 'You sure you're over eighteen mate?' Noel ignored him and made his way into the bar. The venue was separate here, but he had a good fifteen minutes so he took a seat and ordered himself a drink. Five minutes later a slightly bedraggled Julian arrived making his way to the bar and sitting down next to some other man.

'What's up with you mate?'

'One of the lads has cancelled, we need someone to fill in sharpish!'

'Ah, fuck! I'll ask around'

'Just wait a sec, I need to check if this guy's here or not, he might be able to take the spot.'

'Alright mate.' As if on cue, Noel waved enthusiastically at Julian then took the stool next to him,

'Hey!' Noel beamed 'I said I'd be here!'

'You did. Erm, I couldn't ask you for a giant favour could I?'

'Guess so. 'Pends what it is!'

'You know you said you do stand up, well this guy's gone and dropped off the bill, couldn't make it, so basically there's a spot that needs filling.'

'Sure! As long as I'm not headlining, I'm good, but I don't want to be following you!'

'No need to worry, I'm headlining tonight.'

'Really, genius!'

'You say that a lot don't you?'

'What?' Julian tried on his best southern accent,

'Genius!'

'Oh right, suppose I do, ha!'

They both headed backstage and Julian produced a page of notes and began looking through them. Noel just stood there awkwardly. Until he remembered he hadn't mentioned the double act. 'Hey, Julian!'

'Yes?' He looked up from his notes questioningly.

'You ever thought about being in a double act?'

'Hmm. No, not really, I've never thought about it. You?'

'Yeh I was thinking the other night, and I just thought it'd b...'

'Be what?' Julian smirked. Noel faked annoyance and played along,

'Certainly not genius! But anyway, I reckoned us two would be great together, 'cause, you see, our comedic styles are practically identical,'

'I'll be deciding that in a minute, thanks!'

'Trust me, yeh! They're like identical twins separated at birth out styles! But, right, our everything else is, like, opposite, so people would love us!' Julian couldn't help but chuckle, so eager. They'd only met each other twice. But weirdly Julian thought he wouldn't half mind taking the kid up on his idea. But, no! It would be weird, they hardly know each other and this was a kid he was talking about here, he must only be eighteen, that gives them almost a ten year age gap!

'Noel, you're on in a sec!'

'Oh. Wish me luck!'

'Luck.' Julian watched the kid prance onto the small stage with such presence, his heels creating a racket with his every step on the wooden floor. Noel pointed at a woman on the front row,

'Look at you lady, you've got a face, I've got a face, it's all gonna be alright!'


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N **I am so, so sorry, it's been forever I know! I went on 'holiday' with my family to Haven in Mablethorpe, joy of joys... I even managed to fall in love with a funstar... But forget all that I'm back with Chapter four to make up for it!

~Roy the Starfish

**disclaimer **I DO NOT own the Booshmen!

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><p><strong>Chapter 4<strong>

Julian continued to watch Noel control the audience with such ease. It was like watching one of the students taking over all the teachers for a day. He moved around the stage jumping and running to emphasise his points. His face was so bright it brought the mood of the audience up a few noches. Julian didn't know quite what he had been expecting but it definitely wasn't that. He looked down at his notes, inwardly cursed himself for subconsciously thinking the kid would be shit. He took a deep breath then heard the roar of the small crowd. Next there was the sound of Cuban heels heading his way. The compere pushed past Julian to get out on stage and Julian welcomed Noel with the widest smile he could muster. 'Hey! That was really good!'

'Don't sound so surprised! I said I was alright!' Julian loved his confidence. He would never match that.

'Julian Barratt!' The compere screamed, then Noel was pushing him onstage chuckling

'G'won Ju!' He smiled back swiftly in Noel's direction before grasping the mike between his hands. Right. He had to think fast to follow that. Noel was too much like him, he couldn't be as noisy as usual. I'll do some physical stuff. Julian stared into the audience.

'Hello.' A pause and a look at them from the side and that was the first laugh down. 'Ladies, gents... Just over there if you need 'em.' Second laugh down. That one always worked. It provoked a loud gush of laughter so Julian sneaked a glance to the curtains on his left. He caught sight of Noel, mouth wide open, laughing heartily. Score.

The gig was good this time. Yes! He'd had a run of at least three bad gigs, but this one went well. What happened? Perhaps it was the venue and the crowd, it was familiar, he'd played it before. Spot the difference you idiot. Noel.

'That was amazing! Even funnier than last time!' Noel threw his arms around the larger man and patted him on the back. Julian pulled away maybe too hurriedly.

'Er, thanks. You too. You need a lift back or anything?'

'Yes please! That'd be genius!' The men put their coats on and head out of the small venue. It was freezing outside and Noel admired Julian's choice of coat on this particular occasion as they walked a good few feet away from the theatre.

'Oh fuck. I left my keys and phone just by the stage, I'll be back in two ticks. It's the red car on the corner.'

'Okay.' Nothing came out the first time for the cold. Noel cleared his throat. 'Yeh, okay. S-see you in a m-minute then, yeh?'

'Crikey! How cold are you? D'you want my scarf or something, it's not that embarrassing.' Noel smirked slightly.

'No, you're fine!'

'Oh, go on!' He chucked the scarf in Noel's direction and began jogging back to the club zipping up his coat to the very top. Noel removed his hands from his pockets just quick enough to catch the tail of the scarf. He tossed it round his neck, then wrapped it once more and tied it loosely. He plunged his hands back into his pockets and walked crookedly towards his mate's car. He perched on someone's garden wall next to the red vehicle. He shivered then dug his neck into his chest to try and keep the feeling in his cheeks. He inhaled the scent of the scarf deeply, blowing back out again to cover himself in warm air. He never thought a smell could feel warm before, but this one definitely did. Looking up he caught sight of Julian heading his way and immediately stood up standing next to the passenger door with his fingers ready on the handle.

They were soon at Noel's flat and it would appear that Nige and Dave had gone out with the flats sitting in darkness. I don't fancy that on my todd... 'Hey, Julian. You wanna come in for a cuppa or something?'

'Sure.' Julian didn't have anything better to go back to; a smaller flat the other side of London. He may aswell go in. After all Noel was better company than himself. Noel unlocked the door rushed in and let Julian close it. They wandered up the stairs where, at the top, Noel pulled out a second key. He pushed open the door, banged around on the wall until he found the hallway lightswitch immediately illuminating the carpeted hall cluttered with brushes, canvases, pencils and heaps of technological junk. Noel paused before venturing into the hall and turned around to look at Julian,

'Before you come in, you must know, you may NEVER leave!'

'Hm. S'alright, I've not got much on.' Noel smiled brightly.

'That's the best answer ever! Write that down, it's well funny!'

'I will if you let me inside.'

'Yeh, sorry! This is mostly Nige's stuff, the canvases are mine and that's Dave's but that's it.' Noel spoke to Julian like he would have Noel's entire life backed up somewhere in his brain.

'Huh?' Julian missed every word of that.

'Oh, sorry! Er, Dave and Nige go to uni with me. I'm doing Fine Art, Dave's doing graphics and Nige's doing Animation.'

'Right.' Noel smiled hopefully and led himself through the first door falling heavily on a navy blue beanbag. Julian hung his coat up on what looked like a coat hook and sat comfortably down in a washed out yellow armchair. 'So. Tea or Coffee... or lucozade?'


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N **Hello, It's been ages and ages and ages: I'm sorry! I've been concentrating mainly on keeping my new blog updated, I launched it last month, it's doing pretty well and I'm really enjoying writing it. If you want to take a look it's . Please comment, tell your friends and maybe even subscribe or join!

Anyway, here goes Chapter 5, whoohoo!

~Roy the Starfish

**disclaimer **I DO NOT own the Mighty Boosh.

**Chapter 5**

'Hey! I thought I said you could never leave!' Noel chuckled as Julian began making his way down the corridor.

'Seeyou later Noel.' Noel pushed the door shut. The scarf was still sitting on the coffee table. He'd have to come back now. He turned off the hallway light and fell onto a heap of mattresses, pillows and blankets he called his bed.

It was cold outside and Julian hurried over to his car, climbing in and slamming the door in a flash. He turned the heating on and rubbed his hands together. Well that was a night. Ideas of being a double act still flew around his head. He wanted to relax and let the thoughts settle but it seemed like such a great idea he could've stayed at Noel's all night discussing things and scribbling stuff down. He turned on the engine and set off back to his dead old flat. As he drove he listened to the radio trying desperately to keep himself awake. It took him just over forty-five minutes to get back. He parked his car walked slowly up the stairs to his flat, letting himself in and dropping straight into bed. He kicked his shoes off, unzipped his jacket and placed his phone on the bedside table. As he reached to flick off the lamp his phone buzzed: 'one new message'.

'Hey, hope you got back alright. Half twelve tomorrow, yeh? Text if anything changes. Seeyou then, Noel. x x'

He drowsily typed out what sent as 'al good. seeyou tomorow Julian'

'Ping.' Noel rolled over to read a message from a clearly tired out Julian. How he could be tired was beyond him. Noel was still sat slumped against the wall with a notepad, concepts still buzzing around his brain. It was 3.30am when Noel heard the clicking of the door. He heard Dave and Nige's voices trying to explain the mess. He was about to shout to them when he heard the sound of stiletto heels on the kitchen tiles. Maybe not. Noel closed his pad, switched off his phone and rolled onto his front to try and force himself to sleep.

Julian was wake at 9am unable to drift back to sleep. Why on the weekends could he never manage to lie in? He was dressed in five minutes and wasn't meeting Noel for a good couple of hours. He decided to stroll down to McDonalds and get something to eat there; at least it was warmer than his flat. Opening up his brolly he made his way out.

At 11 o'clock Noels alarm woke him from his slumber. He switched it off and lay his head back down before remembering why he'd set it. Swiftly opening the curtains he saw it was raining a bit outside. He put on a long sleeved red a white t-shirt with blue jeans and headed into the kitchen. Digging into a bowl of cornflakes he heard someone's bare feet padding down the hall. He poked his head round the door shouting 'hey!' The two girls jumped. 'Morning! Good night last night? Try getting across the stones at the front without your shoes on.' The girls turned sheepishly and headed out the door.

'What's all that noise?' came Dave's voice.

'Just mine at quarter to twelve in the morning, how are you? Your bird's just taken off!'

'Fuck off Noel.' Dave buried his head back into his pillow.

'It's alright I'm off out now, bye!' A grunt from Dave's direction and Noel pulled on some boots and a long coat before heading down to the tube.


End file.
